get connected
Posted by Eduardo on Jan 31, 2011 | 3 comments
a guest post by Yoko Hisano
Have you ever skied or snowboarded? Did you ever change the speed or the size of your turn to adjust to the slope?
From my experience, even within the same slope, it could be steep or easy or narrow or wide. I’ve done both: without changing much and with major changes/adjustments of the speed and the size of my turn.
When I didn’t make any changes to how I skied, I was exhausted and felt disconnected with the mountain by the time I was at the bottom of the mountain. Ok, there’s the slight self-satisfaction of going down the slope fast and completing. But honestly, it was boring and don’t really remember what the slope was like. When I was feeling the connection or finding the connection with the mountain, I was making adjustments/changes naturally.
I’m starting to realize that music is like that too. If the song is not too complicated, and if I am paying attention enough, I can hear different instruments that come and go as well as the changes in the rhythm. The changes in the music definitely make the song dynamic and interesting.
Connecting this to salsa dancing. When I look at dancers who look smooth and natural, they are adjusting their size of their steps as well as their speed to the song. I can see that they are connected to the song.
My personal challenge is that if I am thinking about the music and not feeling the music/not connected to the music – which is usually the case – I get caught up and tangled up in my steps.
Also sometimes, I don’t trust the leads. This comes from past experiences of not being led clearly or simply that I couldn’t follow well. This lack of trust leads me to being cautious, fearful, and stiff. In this state of mind, I am nowhere close to paying attention to the song, even if I am trying to hear the song. Without really hearing the song, my attempt to adjust my steps doesn’t really work. I would also be judging his lead and totally forget that dancing is about finding/feeling the connection with the lead and the music! The disconnection is usually obvious as two us would almost look like we are dancing to a different song.
So my journey continues. My first step will be letting go of the past mistakes, awkward dances, and to stop judging so that I can feel the music and enjoy the moment of connection!
Adjustments will come naturally.
Yoko,
You raise a very good point about connection to your partner and the music. Both of them are very important. If you feel comfortable with your partner ultimately it will be easier to connect to the music since you will not spend too much time worrying about “what is my partner going to do now?” or “what did you just ask me to do because I really didn’t feel it.” On the leads end we are supposed to feel the music and our partners and compensate when something does not go as well as we planned. Both of us have daunting tasks but with practice and familiarity bread trust which makes our tasks a lot easier. Sometimes it helps me the most to ask why did I go to class or why did I go to that social, it was not to be perfect (even for 1 song because there is always something I could have done better). I do it to have fun and make some friends or renew old friendships as long as I do those two things it was a good day, even if I messed up leading turn pattern X three times. Who cares about that stuff at the end of the day?
Joe,
Thanks for your comment! It’s nice to hear from the lead’s perspective. I appreciate you sharing with us that your goal is “not to be perfect” but “to have fun.” I totally agree with you! I’ve been able to enjoy dancing much more than before and probably that happens more frequently when I’m letting go of the idea of GETTING IT RIGHT. Also, that’s when I’m really connected to my partner and the music.
Yoko,
The beauty about salsa (when it is not done in a rueda) is that nobody knows if you got it right or not. The only person who was in that dance with you was your partner and they are not going to tell anyone what went according to plan and what did not. There have been quite a few blog entries posted on this topic, but it is only natural that we all try to be perfect or concerned about what will so-and-so think, but there is something special that happens when we stop thinking about anyone else and just focus on the music and our partner. It’s not easy to do (we compare ourselves to someone else all the time) but it does produce amazing results when it happens.
When I need to take a step back and think about connection I usually read two blog posts, “Did you Taste Your Dance” and “Paso’s Message for the New Year.” OK, the second one may be a little shameless self promotion but I am proud of the work that Ed and I did on that post. There are a lot of good inspiring posts in the blog archive.